Chuah Soi Lek's Jokes

Latest Political Jokes

Chua Soi Lek quit politics after his sex scandal. Since he had a talent for pumping, he decided he will go into the petrol business. There, he reckons he can still pump a little, and for once be paid for it.
As a politician, he had talent. But selling petrol wasn't something he was trained for so sales was slow. One day, he decided to put up a promotion to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'
Soon Zam pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. Doc Chua told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Zam guessed 8, and Doc Chua said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'
A week later, Zam, along with his UMNO friend Khairy, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. Doc Chua again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Zam guessed 2 this time. Doc Chua said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.'
As they were driving away, Khairy said to Zam, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'
Zam replied, 'No it ain't, KJ. It's not rigged at all. My wife won twice last week.'

NAMES OF DOLLS

Najib has 2 girlfriends and 2 wives. He called them:

1st girlfriend ..... baby doll
2nd girlfriend ..... Mongolian doll

1st wife.....barbie doll
2nd wife..... panadol !

TWO RETIRED OLD POLITICIANS

Two old retired politicians decided that since they are close to their last days to have a last night on the town. Chan Kong Choy was dumped because of the Port Klang Fiasco and Samy Vellu was dumped when a bridge collapsed, killing 100 Indians. Nothing to do, they took a lot of drinks and ended up at the local brothel, managed by a part-time florist.
The Madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, 'Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll on each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference.'The Manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs to take care of their business.
As they are walking home, Chan Kong Choy says, 'You know, I think my girl was dead!' 'Dead?' says Samy Vellu, 'Why do you say that?'
'Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.'
Samy Vellu says, 'Could be worse - I think mine was a witch.'
'A witch, why the hell would you sat that?'
'Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window, taking my teeth with her.'

SOMEBODY FARTED...

Inquiry officer asked Tengku Adnan first: Did you fart?
Adnan replied: You must be drunk or mad.
The officer then asked Dr Mahathir: Did you fart?
Mahathir answered: I don't remember. Anyway it's my prerogative to fart and I don't have to answer to anybody.
The officer then asked Eusoff Chin: Did you fart?
Eusoff Chin answered: If anyone wants to fart, what can I do?
The officer then turned to Lingam: Did you fart?
Lingam replied: Sounds like mine, smells like mine ..........but....it is not me.

PAK LAH AND THE LITTLE GIRL

Pak Lah was seated next to a little girl on an airplane that was leaving KLIA. He turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Pak Lah, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know', said Pak Lah, 'How about who is going to win the next election?'
'OK', she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. However, a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
Pak Lah thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
The little girl then asks, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss who is going to win the next election when you don't know shit?
BOOM BOOM!!!

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